lace thy neck

Don’t tell me you didn’t see that picture of Drew Barrymore the other day with her newly bleach blonde hair and didn’t say “the necklace, oh god, the necklace.”


Because that is what I did. But one must assume she spent $500 on it, in order to properly wealthily contrast with her “vintage tee” and “raybans” and “black jeans.” So I immediately took to the interweb to find an appropriately priced substitute.

I found one on Urban Outfitters for $34, but whoa the one that looked like Ms. Barrymore’s is totally gone and sold out now…dang power of celebrity! The ones left look less glassy and sleek and more day-camp project or if-a-native-american-fortune-teller-owned-a-jewelry-business (which actually might be a great idea).













Next in the thought process was that “balls, I could totally party on the bead loom and make one of these in a jif.” Which, maybe I could but it also sounds kinda boring.

No wait.

I’ve decided it’s totally appropriate.  It wouldn’t take that long and it certainly would cost less than the $295.00 that Fiona Paxton’s beautiful necklace is selling for at Barney’s.  OR even the $205.20 for which it’s sold at UK Webstore Nina and Lola.


But it shore is lovely.

Check out her other necklaces too:



And this super-hottie collar type necklace which caused me to kind of shriek with delight when I saw it.  Well, I like pretty things. Sorry.


I’ve just decided that maybe they are worth $200.  They surely take a long while to make. I approve.




One more thing.  There was a segment on The Today Show this morning about how fake luxury handbags and shit like, cause terrorism and support child labor and take American jobs (you know, all those European handbags made in America?) and everything that we know to be bad in the world.  And I totally believe that and am surely not interested in gaudy fake designer bags in the slightest, but screw you, overpaid TV personalities and bourgie fashion editors.  

I’m glad you’re totally loaded enough to sit here and have this dialogue about the importance of people not buying fake $4,000 handbags or even fake $300 handbags or $200 Nikes that your fashion magazines and tv shows place importance upon and spread and trickle down that influence to middle Americans (or not even) who cannot begin to afford a silly Kate Spade or LV handbag but want to feel like they just might have their finger on the pulse of something, even if it was popular 10 years ago.  You’re responsible for their desire! You’re responsible for that “need!” You may not be sewing up the shitty bags or stealing the print, or yelling at the tiny kids to sew faster, but you totally created it.

So I guess it’s good that Bazaar started this campaign ( to maybe accept some responsibility, but it’s still annoying to listen to the top 10% being like “Don’t buy fakes, poor people.” 

Also maybe you should tell Louis Vuitton that he (you know, Louis) shouldn’t burn the seasonal bags that aren’t sold at the end of a season instead of putting them on sale because he doesn’t want the “sale” stigma.  Seems rude. And kind of a slap in the face.  “Oh, you want this bag? Well I could put it on sale so you still wouldn’t be able to afford it, buuuut nah, I’d rather burn it.”


6 responses to “lace thy neck

  1. Yeah, fuck louis!

  2. subjectverbobject

    Life affirming!

  3. Well, let me tell you, I’m one of those retards who have a ton of fake bags. Hell, I’m using my fake Spade right now, but mostly because I didn’t have another one I wanted to use, and the Coach and Chanel ones are broken (ha!). Judge all you want…because I will probably never be able to afford a “real” purse (the most expensive purse I own is a Dooney & Burke I got for $65 at TJ Maxx), but the experience of actually getting a fake bag is hilarious in and of itself. Also, I have a hard time equating fake fashion with terrorism, etc. Child labor, yes. Sweat shops, of course. But also, in our society, it’s pretty hard to avoid getting clothing that have been constructed in those circumstances. I know this is really long-winded, so I’ll end it here. BUT…for the record…I haven’t bought counterfeit in more than two years. Almost three. So that has to count for something, right? Recycling? lol

  4. Yo bud, I’m surely not knocking anyone who’s buying the fake-ies. I’m not into it (mostly because I don’t like fake leather) and would probably discourage my friends from it if I could, cause I think it probably does contribute to all the “evil” things they talk about, but really, I wouldn’t mind having some fake chanel earrings.

    the luxury goods world is fucked, is what i’m really saying.

  5. For sure. Sorry, I was angry and at work…. 🙂

  6. great advice, interesting article, and nice presentation… do you want my job (just kidding)…
    the jeans guru,
    my Designer Jeans
    ( at good prices too. )

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